15 Ways To Make Sure I Will NOT Hire You

This is not ‘career advice’. I am no ‘job search guru’.

This is not scientific, empirical or out of your latest HR manual.

But I have interviewed more people for jobs than you have, and I am acutely aware of what annoys me, frustrates me, and inclines me to think negatively about a candidate.

This is simply a list of what ticks me off. And I like to hire people who do not tick me off. So, in that sense, these are facts. I suspect it is a very similar list for most interviewers.

• Arrive late.
• Dress like you going to a rave, the beach, or the cricket.
• Bring your coffee, diet coke, or whatever else into the interview room.
• Put your phone, your folder, or your keys on my desk, without asking.
• Call me ‘mate’, ‘buddy’.. or… no… I can’t write this… but I must… ‘dude’!
• Talk, and talk, and talk… and talk.
• Not answer the question put to you.
• Have no questions for me.
• Interrupt me and second-guess what I am about to say.
• Answer a question with “It’s in my résumé”.
• Answer your phone. In fact don’t touch it or even look at it. Actually, I don’t want to see it.
• Tell me what an idiot your previous boss was.
• Swear.
• Not laugh at my jokes. (That one was a joke. But, just checking, are you laughing?)
• Not thank me for my time. Especially as I will have thanked you for yours.

Now before anyone gets overexcited about the outrage of not hiring someone just because of just one minor misdemeanour, take a chill pill. I know better than most how to overcome the inbuilt discrimination we all bring to every assessment situation. I would never really disqualify someone on the basis of one random irritation. Or even two. I know how to assess and hire. But it won’t help you if you do these things.

Not with me, not with most interviewers.

This post was first published on The Savage Truth.