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Why You Shouldn’t Avoid That Tough Conversation With Your Recruiter

No relationship can grow without the proper amount of communication.

Picture this: You’re looking for your next challenge and you meet a great recruiter that specialises in your field. You hit it off on a personal level and your ‘recruitment relationship’ begins. Frequent phone calls, updates and talk of great opportunities are flowing.

Things are going fantastically and you are in what is described as the ‘honeymoon period’. You trust your recruiter and you feel that they have your best interests at heart.

But for one reason or another, you get offered another opportunity that’s outside of this budding relationship. You found something that has your name all over it and it’s just what you’ve been looking for all along. Great for you!

However, now you feel borderline guilty that you’re not going to carry on with your new relationship at this stage of your career and you decide it’s time for a ‘break up.’ You don’t reply to messages in any way and hope the recruiter gets it in the end.


Think about it this way: Recruiters are career relationship builders and if that recruiter is worth their weight they will be stoked for you and your new job, even if they aren’t the one that secured it for you.

By having that tough conversation you will be strengthening your relationship and NOT damaging it.

‘Ghosting’ your recruiter means you’re leaving them wondering what exactly went wrong. A career can easily span over 40 years and if you’re ambitious and in a specialist field, keeping and maintaining that relationship will only benefit you when you’re looking for your next opportunity.


To ‘Eat That Frog’ is to do that very hard thing we keep putting off.

I learned about this idea from S.P.R.I.N.T, a recruitment seminar I attended hosted by RCSA and recruitment legends Greg and Chris Savage.

That phrase and idea came from author Brian Tracy where he discusses doing the hardest thing first in your day and getting it over with.

That can be applied to any career or situation. Avoiding something hard to do or say won’t make it any easier. In fact, it will probably make it harder. When you’ve got something tough to do, it can feel like a liability dragging you down. But once you’ve bitten the bullet and done it, you’ll heave an immense sigh of relief.

So many times in my career as a recruiter I hit it off with a candidate, built a solid rapport with them and promoted them within the team as well as to clients of mine. Then they vanish into thin air and I’m left wondering what exactly went wrong. Did I give bad advice? Did my breath smell? (Hopefully not) Or did I simply have a false perception of our relationship?

You are not betraying any loyalty by accepting other offers, in fact, the recruiter will probably feel more betrayed if you just go off the air without explanation.

Pick up the phone. Eat that frog. You will build an even better relationship with your recruiter with your ability to have that tough conversation. That will make it easier in a few years when you’re looking for your next opportunity. I guarantee it.

If your current gig is starting to grow a little stale and you’re looking for new permanent opportunities on the horizon, get in touch with us today Or check out our latest jobs.  

About the author

Angela Cameron - CA, CPA

Executive Director

A chartered accountant by qualification, she is a recruitment leader by nature.

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